Dirty Little Secret

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So things are slowly improving here at the Casa De Sick People. Ironflower and Lovebug are now completely over their pneumonia/ear infection combos. ChunkyMonkey is still fighting the good fight against sinus yuckiness, but he is improving daily. I think if the poor little guy could blow his nose, or spit things out, he would be well by now. Hot Guy’s stomach virus seems to be fading. And I have become an expert wound cleaner.

Yes, folks, I still have an open wound. Apparently these things take a long time to heal from the inside out. And last week I got the okay from the doctor to NOT have the home care nurse come every day to take care of it for me. It’s not that the nurses weren’t super sweet, but scheduling a time EVERY day that they could come while the kids could be otherwise occupied – what a pain. Plus I realized that it was time for me to face the grossness myself, so that it could be cleaned more often.

Yesterday when I went to the doctor I was even praised for how clean my wound was. And how it’s healing so well. In fact, it’s SO clean now that next week when I go to have it checked? She’s going to STITCH IT CLOSED.

I almost hugged her when she told me. Because while I face the grossness twice a day, every day, I am now sure that I would never, ever make it as a nurse. Or a doctor. Or a medical assistant. Or a medical transcriptionist. Anyway, I have nightmares about how it feels (I have decided to spare you all any more details than that. Thank me.). Also, now that it’s healing it’s starting to hurt. In short, THIS SUCKS.

I just long to be normal again. I want to exercise, not just walk. I would like not to ooze. I would like to stop telling my children to not touch my stomach. And I do realize that there are people going through so much worse than I am. In fact, I feel guilty for being so whiny about this when so many have it so much worse. But then I have to go change my gauze and suddenly I don’t care.

It’s wrong to laugh when the women on Real Housewives of Orange County cry, isn’t it? I mean, they’re people too. Sort of. They have feelings. But whenever one of them cries, I giggle.

And isn’t it wrong to believe that I’ve never, ever started a fight with Hot Guy? I mean, wouldn’t that be statistically impossible?

It’s quite possibly wrong that I feel joy knowing that all three of my children are sleeping at this minute. The joy is not from the fact that are getting recuperative sleep to help them get better, either.

And it’s definitely wrong that this whole c-section infection/gaping wound thing now ITCHES. I mean, it’s much better than horrible pain but for the love of God, can’t I just feel normal? And if I can’t, couldn’t they at least have done a tummy tuck while they were in there?

What’s wrong with you?