Dirty Little Secret

Recently I’ve heard people say things like, “Don’t tell my husband that I just want to see that movie because Hugh Jackman’s in it,” and “My wife thinks I just agree to see chick flicks because of her, she doesn’t know about my crush on Rachel McAdams.”

And I shake my head.

Hot Guy and I don’t have secret crushes, we have permission lists.

Like, if I ever get a chance to be naked with Hugh Jackman, I have permission to go for it. Likewise Jon Stewart (okay, mostly I just want him to talk to me, but I’ll be naked if that’s what it’ll take for him to talk to me.). And if I get to do Ben Affleck or Matt Damon, Hot Guy will be really happy for me, as long as I tell him the details. Really.

He has my permission for Drew Barrymore and Sandra Bullock, plus some others I can’t remember. But not Christina Ricci. He thinks she’s on his list, but she’s not. I think she’s weird. She seems like she’d go all stalker or something.

Anyway, I suppose my point is that Hot Guy and I discuss our crushes openly. Possibly even eagerly. And even though I’m the chubbiest I’ve ever been and am pushing 40, I am never threatened by his crushes. Why would I be? The vows talk about forsaking all others, not forsaking all sexual fantasies.

When I was in high school, there was this boy I really, really liked. Surprisingly, we actually started dating. All was fine until he was in a play with this girl that he had a crush on. No, he didn’t dump me. In fact, he was a perfectly attentive boyfriend. It was just that I could tell that he had a crush on this girl, not that she was interested. But it bothered me so much that I dumped him.

I spent the next year and a half regretting it. 18 months of wasting being a cute little thing because I was hung up on a guy who was never going to trust me again. Genius, I tell you. Though  it sure got me over being jealous about somebody’s crushes.

But I’m starting to wonder if Hot Guy and I are in the minority. Do you hide your crushes from your spouse? Or do you have a list?

I could write a long, heartfelt post about Hubby today. I could. Because Hubby, aka “Hot Guy” from Soap Opera Sunday, is pretty fantastic. But we don’t really do Valentine’s Day. So then I thought, if not love, how about lust?

Here are some men I lust after (besides Hot Guy, of course):

Ben Affleck. I don’t care that he can’t act. He can direct, anyway. And look at that face.

Taylor Kitsch. He’s on Friday Night Lights. Watch the damn show already, people.

Ewan MacGregor. And an accent too.

Jason Bateman. I’ve had a crush on him since he was on Silver Spoons.

Brett Favre. What? Like I’d lust after Eli Manning?

Larry Mullen. The drummer for U2. Giving me daydreams since 1984.

And here are some men whose brains I like so much I have crushes on them too:

Kevin Smith – director of Clerks, Chasing Amy and Dogma. And also a fan of Degrassi Junior High.

Jon Stewart. Funny and smart – my two favorite qualities.

I’m sure you disagree my choices. So leave yours in the comments. Or write your own post and leave me the link!