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A clean house is a sign of a wasted life.
  • Move Your Cookies

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    January 27th, 2010Jerseygirl89It's All About ME, stuff that ticks me off

    Dear Stop and Shop,

    I don’t have a lot of willpower. I cope with stress through vices and since  I don’t find hangovers and smoker’s cough compatible with motherhood, I’ve turned to chocolate. (Also french fries. But not from your store. Because frozen french fries don’t do it for me. What was I talking about?)

    Anyway, recently I’ve been trying to cut back on the chocolate. Because constantly having to buy new (larger) jeans for myself? Also not compatible with motherhood.

    And speaking of compatibility, do you really have to put your bakery-made chocolate chip cookies on a special table right in front of the milk? Seriously? Let me tell you, those chocolate cookies you guys make are GOOD. Not quite as good as my mom’s, but very, very yummy. They have an addictive quality, I think. I mean, I’d avoided the bakery area on the other side of the damn store so I wouldn’t be tempted. But there they were. . . . . .right in front of the one place I can never avoid.

    Are you evil, Stop and Shop?

    I mean, I know you want to move as much product as possible. . .but you seriously cannot get to the milk  without being in cookie grabbing distance. That’s not product placement, that’s torture.

    In conclusion, let me just stay this:

    Move the damn  cookies or I’m sending you my clothing bills.

    Thank you for your time,

    Jerseygirl89

    PS

    Please do not send me a form letter about eating more vegetables or the benefits of meditation. If you would really like to prevent me from going on a cookie rampage, add a martini bar (and a daycare) to your facility.

    Let Me Know You Were Here
    Better than cleaning (0) I should have mopped my floors (0)
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7 Responses to “Move Your Cookies”

  1. Dammit, now I’m thinking about, and yearning for, some damn chocolate chip cookies!! Shit.

  2. yum! usually chocolate is IT for me, but yesterday I made an apple crisp (to use up the apples that needed to be eaten) and we actually had ice cream in the freezer…well, I had 2 LARGE helpings!!  

  3. You think thats bad, I have asked the vending machine guy at my work to NOT put in any powder donuts, but instead to please put some granola bars in their place.

    So sorry to all my co workers. There will no longer be any donuts in our vending machines.

    Look at it this way I am just doing all of you a favor. You can thank me later.

  4. I think that’s awesome. Although I don’t have to work with you. :)

  5. Hmmm. .. apple crisp. Once in a while I go on an apple/cinnamon flavor binge too.

  6. Er, sorry about that. I have some here on the counter. Want one?

  7. Ugh…you had to go there.  And I just wrote a post about not looking good naked.  I’m hitting the bag of Oreo’s.  Dammit, jerseygirl!

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