Whipping Out The Boob
Posted in ChunkyMonkey, breastfeeding, motherhood and tagged with breastfeeding, ChunkyMonkey, comforting babies, my laziness on 09/27/2009 10:44 am by Jerseygirl89Sometimes people compliment me for breastfeeding, impressed with my commitment and devotion. I smile modestly. Because if I say anything I’m afraid I’ll laugh.
I embraced breastfeeding not because it’s supposedly better for children (turns out some of the research has been dubious at best, or so one article I read recently claimed) and not because it is SO MUCH cheaper than formula.
I started breastfeeding for those reasons, sure. But I’ve also started doing yoga because it was good for me. . . . . . . several times. Follow through is not my strong suit, especially when you’re talking about something as time-consuming, alcohol-denying and occasionally painful as breastfeeding.
I lasted ten months with Ironflower. She weaned herself. Lovebug was fifteen months. And ChunkyMonkey is coming up on eleven months. That would be good for someone who’s only made it a month or so with yoga, except for one thing:
I’m a dedicated breastfeeder because I am LAZY. Newborn cried in the middle of the night? I didn’t have to get my ass out of bed, let alone go down to the kitchen. I never had to spend hours washing bottles – in fact, with the last two, I didn’t spend any time washing bottles. And when the kid was fussy and no one knew what to do with him? (I say “him” because, honestly, Ironflower was a super easy baby) All I had to do was whip out a boob.
And then, Friday night, it didn’t work. ChunkyMonkey DID NOT WANT TO NURSE. He fussed and screamed and yelled and I was lost. I tried each boob multiple times. I walked and bounced. I swayed. I paced. He kept screaming.
Eventually I realized that his stuffy nose meant he couldn’t breathe with the boob or the pacifier in and that I was screwed. ChunkyMonkey nurses, then goes to sleep with his pacifier. This is our routine. It works. Except for Friday. And all I could think was, oh my God, what do people who don’t nurse DO?
Let me say something to those who look down on bottle feeders: Shut up. You have no idea what those people go through to calm their children (such as pushing the stroller all night long, like I did on Friday) down.
And let me say something to all the women who have told me that they didn’t breastfeed because it seemed “too hard”: Pushing a stroller all night is a lot harder than breastfeeding, even after they have teeth.
What do you guys think?
September 27th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
Woo hoo…let’s hear it for us lazy ones. You forgot not having to worry about forgetting to bring bottles, formula, water and such when leaving the house. I admit motherhood has made me forgetful but thankfully the boobs are attached…LOL.
September 27th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
that’s it exactly. breastfeeding is so much easier than any of the other options. no prep time, little cleanup, and I can do it in bed half asleep (or fall asleep while doing it)
September 27th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
First I love the nicknames for the kids- what a riot. Breastfeeding occurred to me as hard. Mind you, this is coming from a (formerly) well-endowed woman to the tune of a G-cup while I was nursing (started out as a DD). I literally had to make sure both of my girls could breathe while they nursed, so I’d have to hold my breast the whole time they nursed. Not fun. I was just so huge it was uncomfortable and I’d lost one of my biggest joys- taking off my bra when I went to bed. And try to subtly pull one of those puppies out in public- not possible. I made it to 2 months with each of them… and cried for days when I stopped because I so wanted to do it longer but it just wasn’t working.
September 27th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
I am so, so sorry that ChunkyMonkey had a terrible night… but in case any people are wondering what it’s like with a bottle-feeding newborn…. I also know that our routine at that age was bottle and then paci and then bed – and when he was sick with a cold, neither one did not work either. The nose was the actual issue, not the method of intake of liquid.I am also lazy – which is why my son never got a heated (or cooled) bottle. I had 4 or 5 formula “travel” containers that I had everywhere, so I could, half asleep, make a bottle and give it right to him. AND the way I could do that while ACTUALLY sleeping (and not half sleeping, although breastfeeding seemed tempting at those hours
) is I could send my darling and capable husband in to do it. And I could go catch a movie or go food shopping or whatever I wanted since the baby was getting the same nutrition from daddy. Yes, having bottles packed to go at all times was a bit annoying, but if I breastfeed our next kid, I will still need to always remember a HooterHider and burp cloths, almost the same when leaving the house.And the miracle of an invention of the dishwasher meant that bottles and all the stuff that hubby/I dirtied managed to get washed all at the same time so even that turned out not to be an issue either.Next kid? We’ll see, I am still debating, now that I know for sure both boobs do actually work. 
But not because it is more convenient, I would be breastfeeding because it is supposedly better for the kid and less $$$.I really hope that ChunkyMonkey can breathe through his nose soon no matter how you feed him!Sorry if this was too much.
September 28th, 2009 at 11:52 am
Ahhh, yes. I am a lazy momma too. When I was switching my anti-depressants because the one I was on made my baby WIRED, we had to do formula at night and holy cow, it made me tired.My daughter has also been having the same snot-nosed issues and won’t nurse. What we’ve done is made her a bottle that is warmer than usual. This knocks her OUT quick enough that she doesn’t need her pacifier. I also think the heat clears up the sinuses a bit. Obviously not hot enough to burn her, but warm and comfortable.
September 29th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
Maura – I can’t believe I forgot that one!
Judy – The sleep thing is the best part.
Cathy – Ugh, having to hold things out of the way too – I wouldn’t have made it 2 months!
Lisa – But there’s always pumping if you want to leave things with capable husbands.
Okay, that didn’t really happen with my boys, but it worked for Ironflower.
Mrs Soup – If only the boy would take a bottle. But he’s doing better now. . . and maybe I’ll try a warm cup next time. That’s a good point about the sinuses.