The Hoo-ha
Posted in parenting, sex education on 04/18/2007 02:34 pm by Jerseygirl89My daughter uses anatomically correct language. She calls eyes “eyes”, toes “toes” and her vulva, “vulva”. According to some people, this makes me a bad parent. My two year old should not know the proper names for all of her parts, goes the thinking. “Hoo-ha” is a much more appropriate term for female genitalia. Or “down there” (a term I have heard shame-faced grown women use, I’m sorry to say). But my daughter definitely shouldn’t know the names of THOSE body parts. I’ve been told it will make her sexually active.
Yes, it’s 2007 and female genitalia (come to think of it, Zoe doesn’t know the word genitalia, I’ll have to work on that) is still dirty and scary. Especially when a two year old acknowledges it calmly and shamelessly. How depressing.
My mother was way more open about sexuality than her mother was, but I still didn’t understand my own anatomy until somewhere in college. And it took having children to be truly comfortable saying “vulva”,”vagina” and even “penis”. And while I admit that Zoe’s (brief) fascination with her brother’s penis (which led to demands of watching me change his diaper and announcements that “Zach doesn’t have a vulva, he has a penis”) freaked me out, I hid it.
I don’t think any of us need to be ashamed of our body parts. I’m sorry, but calling something by a stupid nickname indicates a certain level of shame. But that shame doesn’t prevent people from having sex, does it? All it does is make them too embarassed to go buy condoms. Or to describe exactly what they want it bed.
The people who are uncomfortable with my daughter’s terminology tell me that teachers will be appalled by her language. If that’s what appalls them about her behavior, then she needs new teachers. These same people claim that it will make her think about sex earlier. Frankly, I think TV, music and hormones will set her down that path – regardless of what she calls her genitalia.
April 18th, 2007 at 6:51 pm
My kids knew the correct names for their body parts, right from the start. It seemed silly to me to teach them incorrect words. I took some grief about it too, especially from my mother-in-law, who was very conservative and wouldn’t have said the word “vagina” to her gynecologist.
The fact that people seem to think that teaching kids about their bodies will make them more likely to be sexually active seems backwards to me. I would imagine that as in all things, knowledge is power when it comes to matters of their bodies.
Little kids who are comfortable to talk about their bodies and get the sense that mom & dad are okay to talk about such things will be more likely to communicate with you as they get a bit older. If parents seem uncomfortable, kids will quickly learn that some topics are off limits, and that’s the last thing you want. A little at a time, they will need a bunch of info regarding their bodies and their sexuality — it would be best if that information and guidance comes from parents.
April 20th, 2007 at 2:48 am
I am a social worker. One of my biggest pet peeves is when parents decide to teach their children some ridiculous name for their genitalia…like “cootchy cat”. It does no one any good other than a parent who thinks it is “cute”. And then you have a kid who goes to the doctor and has no idea of what the doctor is asking when he asks if her “vagina” hurts.
And I appreciate your blog entry previous to this one but I am too lazy to go down and comment below it…I’m not evangelical either!